January 28, 2022. Sophie, a nickname, full name known to me, reports via social media. She says that Rob Nanninga appeared in a dream of hers, but that this was several years ago and that she does not know why she is bringing it up now.
But I can relate. You can read in the blogs since the pandemic and now also the Russia war that everything in my life has turned upside down, including in my relationship life. The strange Darkwood and Henryk story that is still going on, that is to say: the Henryk story is still in full development. It has now been almost 8 years since Rob hung his earthly coat on the coat rack on, or just before, Ascension Day. The rough 2020-2022 years are creating a deep existential momentum for me and yes, the timing is right. I put the relevant sentences as one story in a row: (only minor edits in terms of language)
Hi Constantia; 1 time Rob Nanninga appeared in my dream. He looked very chill with a very ugly (ahem) brown turtleneck sweater. In a doorway.
I was anxious. I don’t want anything to do with men. But he stood there very quietly. He kind of reassured me. He said I just stand here. I wanted to tell you sooner but afraid you thought it was weird. Or found it annoying. Been through nasty things with men but this was okay.
[When asked how she knows him>] Through you, through Skepsis. But never contacted. I’m from 1989 so I can’t. I used to be a 🙄 Robert ten Broeke supporter. The only thing I remember;
He stood casually in the doorway. The door frame was old pink with a kind of wave in it and the wall was stark white. He told me not to be afraid. I felt it was okay. A kind of peace. I recognized him later and asked if he was your husband and he agreed. Then I was absolutely sure I had nothing to fear. He said it was good that you exposed everything about Robbert and Stan. At that time I followed your blog about those 2 and everything around it. There was a point where I got worried when they did something weird with your address. I don’t know when or what exactly. Haha I had to chuckle. He seemed a little shy. And a kind of mischievous smile. When he said he was your husband.
[asked for clarification of “mischievous”]
No mischievous is a big word. I have a diagnosed mild form of autism. Fortunately my intelligence is normal according to the psychologist, but I was born 3 months premature and find it really difficult to describe facial expressions. Is there one step less than really mischievous? I’ll sit down for it tomorrow if I can. (drawing)
[I had asked for a drawing of the dream situation, and I was very excited very quickly because I now knew what she meant by that look, namely Rob’s mildly ironic, inquiring look].
Phew, I’m trying to start at the beginning. Bullied from my 6th year and experienced 1 nasty abuse experience. I froze completely and couldn’t say a word to the police either. The teddy bear was my best friend. I also experienced a lot of abuse around my 13th to 15th (that was an acquaintance of mine).
Then made “friends” but they were supposedly very spiritual, different “rituals” done with massages, egg ritual. And then I believed in Robbert; paid damn good money for his book. And when all that came to light, I thought: I will never fall for it again. Oh yes from my 13th to 15th; so that was in Groningen.
I had asked Sophie for a drawing of the situation in the dream and to my surprise she accepted it straight away and not long after, she came up with a charming figure drawing that even immediately reminded me of Rob’s typical ‘leaning posture’. This is how I got to know him after he passed on. I often see him in my mind’s eye, leaning against a tree when I’m cycling for example, with the sweet smile and the inquisitive and slightly ironic look in his eyes. Sophie thought the word “ironic” was perfect when I described it to her after her remark about “mischievous look”, it was exactly that, according to her, mildly ironic and inquisitive, very friendly. But Sophie didn’t get any further than this drawing rudimental, and she herself came up with the idea to ask her good, and since childhood, friend Jessica, and she wanted to, but she turned out to be so busy that the load became too great. Jessica then came up with the idea that her sister, also very gifted artistically (it was not clear, just this was said) Monique would do it. And sure enough, Monique wanted to try it. I name the string of developments, because this chain will show 100% that none of this can be staged (for the unbelieving and suspicious skeptics): so Jessica came up with the idea to ask Monique.
For me Jessica and Monique were just names, there was no surname yet, their surname Van Deursen came later in April 2022, and the “Van Deursen” appealed to me to ‘Brabant (in terms of that typical cozy Dutch surname) feelings’, after all I lived there myself for a long time and I was also born there, but I had absolutely no idea of the two ladies, I honestly thought that they were ‘just’ two average ladies – yes, shame on me – and Sophie didn’t say anything about it either.
Sophie wanted to keep everything as pure as possible and gave Monique only two pictures of Rob and briefly sketched what she had seen in the dream, the clothes etc.
The fact that I immediately had a bullseye feeling with Sophie herself was only due to the few opening sentences that Sophie needed to do this, completely unintentionally on her side, because I think these kinds of details really go too far for someone who has not dealt with Rob in depth. She was talking about an ugly brown cable knit sweater, and I instantly recognized Rob’s demeanor in this choice of clothing. Rob’s ‘pleasantly bourgeois’ I mentioned earlier in Lion Hearts. Rob who does not opt for a flashy appearance, but for the unimaginative, ‘bourgeois’ brown cable sweater. And besides that, a lot of bells started to ring when Sophie said that Rob had said: “I’ll just stand here”. This is in fact Rob, as I got to know him before and after he passed on (yes, bear with me). What was going on? Sophie was pulled into the bushes by a guy as a six-year-old girl and you can fill in the rest yourself. And it didn’t stop there, because even in her teenage years more sexual abuse happened. In short: Sophie is not, and for all the reasons in the world, a lady who trusts men well. Rob must have seen all of that, and his line of, “I’ll just stand here.”, is 100% what Rob would do and say if this situation had been on Earth. Correct me when I’m wrong, Rob connoisseurs.
I waited patiently and sure enough, some near-finished copies of Rob’s drawing already arrived. I was moved, that anyway, yes, this had been Rob! Through whatever cosmic language and road, Rob appeared. Sophie is important for other things anyway, see the Darkwood blog, and she has the characteristic of both Rob and me in common: she is ‘slow’, sometimes notices things late. Because she dropped another hefty bomb, similar to the one with the Darkwood blog back then, which immediately made it clear to me that I definitely had to write a blog about my bad Darkwood experiences.
The bomb that fell was as follows: [Sophie continued via social media, April 14, 2022:]
https://nl.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cesair [bold by me]
I’ll ask her about her name, I’ll call her soon. Not sure if she’s open to it.
The artist is in a Pagan folk band.
It never really hit me, but suddenly the penny dropped. Rob Nanninga had something to do with that too, right?
I thought oooh yes somehow everything has to be like this.
Again I went into a deep shock, this time a euphoric one. Sophie, who is not the Sophie of the band Cesair by the way, also mentioned a little later that she herself has nothing (yet?) with this music genre, but all Rob’s close ones will recognize this: yes, Folk, Rob’s life-size and lifelong passion next to Skepsis. Rob was drawn by… Monique van Deursen, active as lead singer in one of the largest and most famous folk bands in the Netherlands, also active and successful across the border, the band Cesair. Only now, mid-April 2022, did I find out, only now did I start googling. And Sophie really hadn’t realized this, the enormity of this, until she brought it to me. Both Jessica and Monique van Deursen are, just like Sophie, very intelligent, gifted and beautiful women, and above all: very pure, yes, I just say it plainly, I can see that with my life experience of now 54 years. The shock deepened even further, because Cesair had also just released a new song, “Aux Pieds Nus“, on October 8, 2021, and that song is about… loss of a loved one through death, but also the reach over death to this beloved. And on their Events page I saw that they are registered for an event similar to the one that could be for the impure Darkwood guys, the “Wave-Gothic-Treffen” in Germany. But Cesair ís good, sweet, pure, the Pagan Folk that Rob can and would support with all the knowledge of now, and not the Darkwood guys. Just to be clear, I don’t know if Rob Nanninga knew Cesair, I can’t find it in his music lists, I didn’t know Cesair, and I don’t know Jessica and Monique either. I could cry as I write this and tears are coming again. Yes, I’m not ashamed of that.